This story was my biggest lesson in 2008.  It seemed to appear over and over again, in books, in movies, as if to say "LISTEN CLOSLY.  THIS HERE IS IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND."  And then it would appear once again...  Sometimes as just a whisper.  Eventually I did listen, and finally I got it.  It is now the one something that I am holding close to my heart with entering this new year.   

 When I finally let go last year of all the things that were holding us back, I ran into an old neighbor and friend of mine who introduced this story to me. I had told him what was going on in our lives, our conclusion and choices of letting go, and that surprisingly things started to open up for us when we had finally made that decision.  I told him that I didn’t know if it was good or bad yet, the “what was happening in our lives” because the end hadn’t yet happened to determine it.  And then he shared his learned wisdom with me.  

 Good news, bad news…  

 It leads one to look at all things in a new perspective.  Bush being in office for eight years simply paved the way for change with Obama leading us into the future.  Another event, historical at that, about to happen in our lives in a matter of days that probably would never had occurred had the former event not have happened first.   

 And then I turned the mirror around and started looking into my past with this new perspective.   

 With this unearthing of MySpace and Facebook, people from my past are all seemingly coming out of the wood work, like some sort of peepshow destined for disaster… or maybe self-discovery. Good news, bad news?  I don’t know.      

 I’ve held a great deal of buried torment towards my past for countless rationale. Some self created, others induced…always protected deep within.  I’ve come to a place where I rarely look back or “in”, rather focus on the here and now and always keeping an eye towards the future.  But recently I’ve found myself in a pool of muck, the same muck from which I’ve come trying to scrape off the goo, dirtying my polished, poised self with a lot of “ews” being exclaimed in between the flinging.  That is until I looked up.  Up into the moon, the heavens, the stars that were all reflecting back down upon me.   

 In this reflection, I saw myself. I saw all of the events that had lead up until now.  I saw these events for myself, and I saw these same events for everyone else that has come into and has stayed or continued on from my life.   I saw the perfection of every event that has led to the present. This very moment.  This same present where I now reside in complete satisfaction.  And I see with perfect clarity, that had any one of those events been different, that I would not be where I am now, and who I am now.  With this realization came a shedding of a skin, a layer so thick and heavy… that held every burden, every hurt, every affliction. And I let go. 

 Because what I was looking at was the creation of pure perfection. Along with this, I was able to see myself in my past as I have never understood before.  With this a movement began to occur as one event started to affect another until every moment of my existence had been altered to the result in creating a new being of which and who I now am.  A healing of sorts.  A healing that was finally ready to happen.  

 And I enter this new year; I enter as a new me, a fresh perspective.  And I look back at my past with the question, “Good? Bad?  I don’t know.”  

 As I look towards the future I hold the here and now, this very moment... in all it's imperfections, and I see clearly that this is the exact place where I need to be.  That although at times it maybe seem to be "imperfect," and that I may rather be here or there with this or that... and I know that whatever it is that is not was IS will not lead me to wherever it is that I need to be.

 New Years has always been significant to me.  How I spend New Years day is in my mind, a foreshadowing of the year to come.  Last New Years was a struggle, and the year followed suit faithfully.  This year already has proven different. I traditionally enjoy taking some time sitting alone with myself coming up with new goals, resolutions, but this year two weeks have passed already, and I just remembered this evening that I have yet to do that. Father time has seemed to have swept me up in his carriage and taken me for a ride.  We are already well into the start of our year, and honestly… it’s looking as though his goals are seemingly better than anything that I could come up with.   

 Aim for the direction you wish for your life to turn.  Trust and let go.  Hmmmm.  Sometimes I do still forget that father always knows best.  

  And we’ll all just have to see… good year, bad year?  

 With a closer look, I see that no matter how it appears to end, it all seems to turn out for the good.